Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was
included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs
itself into all other programs and launches during system
initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker night 10.3 and Beer bash 2.5 no longer run,
crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife
1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0
but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Dear Jonathan Powell:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to
Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the
program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife
1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or
floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy
valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0
because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to
install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than
the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings-
Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the
background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects
Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-
recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download simular
products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have
become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and
just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must
assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.
The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset
button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as
you take the blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0
-Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD

-Frequently use Communicator 5.0

-Tech Support@Wife.com