| Brake fluid mixed with Clorox
makes smoke.....lots of it. |
| A six-year old can start a fire with a
flint rock even though a forty-year old man says that can
only be done in the movies. |
| If you spray furniture polish
on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades,
they can ignite. |
| A four-year old's voice is
louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. |
| If you hook a dog leash over a
ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a
42 pound boy wearing a superman cape. It is strong
enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room. |
| Baseballs make marks on
ceilings. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to
throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A
ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. |
| The glass in windows, even
double pane, does not stop a baseball hit by ceiling fan. |
| A magnifying glass can start a
fire even on an overcast day. |
| If you use a waterbed as home
plate while wearing baseball cleats, it does not leak.....it
explodes. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
a 2000 square foot house four inches deep. |
| Legos will pass through the
digestive tract of a four-year old. Duplo blocks will not. |
| Play Dough and microwave should
never be used in the same sentence. |
| Superglue is forever. |
| McGuyver can teach us many
things we don't want to know. |
| Ditto Tarzan. |
| No matter how much Jell-O you
put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. |
|
Pool filters don't like Jell-O. |
| VCR's do not eject peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do. |
| Garbage bags do not make good
parachutes. Neither do embroidered bed sheets. |
| Marbles in gas tanks make lots
of noise when driving. |
| Always look in the oven before
you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. |
| The fire department in our city
has a response time of at least five minutes. |
| The spin cycle on the washing
machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however,
make cats dizzy. Cats throw up two times their body
weight when dizzy. |
| Quiet does not necessarily mean
there is nothing wrong. |
| Quiet if you are reading this means you
are lonely and bored to death. |
