| 1. Page
yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice!) |
|
| 2. Find out where your
boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) |
|
| 3. Send e-mail
to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.
For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.' |
|
| 4. While
sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. |
|
| 5. Put mosquito
netting around your cubicle. |
|
| 6. Insist that
your e-mail address be zena-goddess-of-FIRE@ companyname.com |
|
| 7. Every time
someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that. |
|
| 8. Suggest that
the Coke machine be filled with beer. |
|
| 9. Encourage
your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. |
|
| 10. Put your
garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". |
|
| 11. Develop an
unnatural fear of staplers. |
|
| 12. Put decaf
in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. |
|
| 13. In the memo
field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." |
|
| 14. When
driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's
windshield wipers running during all weather conditions
to keep 'em tuned up. |
|
| 15. Reply to
everything someone says with, "That's what you think." |
|
| 16. Practice
making fax and modem noises. |
|
| 17. Finish all
your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." |
|
| 18. Adjust the
tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights
up the entire working area. Insist to others that you
like it that way. |
|
| 19. As often as
possible, skip rather than walk. |
|
| 20. Ask people
what sex they are. |
|
| 21. While
making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet. |
|
| 22. At lunch
time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down. |
|
| 23. Specify
that your drive-through order is "to go." And
the final way to annoy people: Send this e-mail to
everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to
you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this. Fw: This
page
How to drive others insane |
